January, 2009

This is a beautiful weekend – wet weather aside – because it began on Friday with Derby vs Forest, carried on with Hartlepool vs West Ham & United vs Spurs, and will end today with FC Gronigen vs Ajax, Cardiff vs Arsenal and Liverpool vs Everton. All FA Cup 4th round ties (save for the Ajax game – that is an Eredivisie league fixture) and by the end of today we’ll also know who’ll play who in the 5th round. Already, one notable absence: holders Portsmouth are out!

But one of the hazards of being an ardent football fan – and a passionate supporter of any particular team, at that – is the barrage of abuse that comes your way when your team is not doing well. This, Big M found out to much consternation earlier this week. Her team, so long on top of the league, finally seceded their temporary throne when they drew in their local derby. Cue abuse from friends and acquaintances alike.

Of course, the best thing to do when it comes to situations like this is to take it in good stride; knowing full well that when it comes to football, the wheel turns pretty quickly and it won’t be long before the tables are turned. But sometimes, over-enthuthiasm takes over and the abuse one dishes gets a tad too much for the one on the receiving end. Not to mention, sometimes the abuse dished out are somewhat.. riddled with factual loopholes. For instance, when a United fan insults a Liverpool fan by saying, “No great team has to wait 18 years to win the league trophy.” Does said United fan not know that United themselves were barren for a good 26 years before Alex Ferguson’s band of merry men got on the case – and at that, he had a good 5-6 years of mediocrity before hitting the jackpot? Please, shelve that joke and use it again in 9 years.. when 18 becomes 27

Another fan typology which leaves me tettering on the brink (of white rage) is the one who dishes abuse at every team, but not really supporting a team himself. Jumping from Arsenal to Chelsea to United to AC Milan to Real Madrid to Barcelona as the seasons pass by, typically he is the one celebrating overexuberantly when his ‘team’ wins – and also the type to dish out the worst abuse, using of course, lines he picked up at Internet football forums. I have yet to master a method of ignoring this type of fan bar standing up and walking away, often to his chants of “Ek eleh, tak berani lawan la tu..”

I am perhaps showing my age when I say that days of OTT banter are behind me somewhat. Abuse is only dished between close friends, and has a shelf life of no more than 24 hours: after that it gets pretty tired. Reason being, I have spoken many a time too soon in my youth only to have things bite me back in the worst way possible. These days when I am abused after my team loses, I tend to merely agree that we are, indeed, shite, and are pretty useless; and that our strikers are overpaid idiots – I mean, they get paid more in a week than I do in 18 months, what is so hard about putting a round ball in between two sticks that are 7.3 meters apart? Sure, I struggle to do it but I’m not paid that much money, am I?

But yes, it does drive one quite mad when people push it; and what can you do about it apart from grin and bear it, and plot revenge for when the day finally comes? And ultimately, at the end of the day, remember that it is just a game, quips a friend not quite into the beautiful game. Oh, but football isn’t about life and death, is it…