I don’t want to fight your fight. Because you refused to fight my fight.
Lagipun aku dah cakap. Kamu tak nak dengar. Dah lah.
Archive for
October, 2008
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October 29, 2008 6:43 pm
October 28, 2008 7:08 pm
Terbit perasaan malam ini untuk aku berpuisi.
Tapi aku bukan pujangga.
Stok perasan saja.
Jadi lebih baik aku kongsi hasil kerja orang lain.
Dengan kredit diberi. Aku bukan manusia yang curi kek coklat.
you shall above all things be glad and young oleh saudara ee cummings
you shall above all things be glad and young
For if you’re young,whatever life you wear
it will become you;and if you are glad
whatever’s living will yourself become.
Girlboys may nothing more than boygirls need:
i can entirely her only love
whose any mystery makes every man’s
flesh put space on;and his mind take off time
that you should ever think,may god forbid
and (in his mercy) your true lover spare:
for that way knowledge lies,the foetal grave
called progress,and negation’s dead undoom.
I’d rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
*****
Dan: I fell in love with her, Alice.
Alice: Oh, as if you had no choice? There’s a moment, there’s always a moment, “I can do this, I can give into this, or I can resist it”, and I don’t know when your moment was, but I bet you there was one.
When was your moment, and what was your choice?
October 25, 2008 5:59 pm
I.
“Hish, aku rasa cheapen gila value Datukship once depa dah bagi kat Shah Rukh Khan. Nampak sangat macam kita ni tagih sangat external validation; dengan kita bagi and dia accept, kiranya as a country we are worth something la tu. Kalau dapat Datukship, boleh tolak tak? Ke kira derhaka ek? Tobat, kalau aku dapat, aku nak decline seh.”
“Ko ni. Ada ke orang nak bagi kau Datukship pun?”
II.
Sebenarnya hidup ini adalah satu proses external validation yang neverending. Sentiasa kita mengharapkan yang diri kita membawa erti kepada seseorang. Because we need to matter. We survive on mattering. Kita sentiasa measure aspek keperibadian kita against suatu benchmark yang dizahirkan; often this is dictated by society. Jika kita tidak conform, maka tindakan pertama kita sudah pastinya suatu usaha untuk mengetengahkan rasional tentang kenapa kita ‘berbeza’. We explain ourselves, tanpa sedar yang no one cares. Dan kita lupa, from the one aspect where it all matters, there is nothing left to explain, kerana Dia memang sudah mengetahui segalanya.
III.
Sedarkah..
kita cari benda hilang dalam terang siang
dan
kita cari diri hilang dalam pekat malam.
Epilog.
bila jumpa penggantiku jangan dilupakan aku