November, 2006

Adele Eastman is the fiancee of Tom ap Rhys Pryce, who was murdered by two young men as they robbed him of his mobile and Oyster card on his way back home from work one night in January this year. In her statement read in court yesterday reflecting on her loss, she attacked the greed and bravado of the two murderers, Donnel Carty and Delano Brown, 19 and 18 respectively, but also offered this:

I very much doubt that as children, any of the hopes and aspirations they (Carty and Brown, the murderers) held for their future included killing a man, and yet here they stand convicted of that heinous crime.

What happened along the way for them to become so cruel and hateful towards others and at such a young age?

What a huge waste of life, not just of Tom’s but also of their own – years in prison for an Oyster card and a mobile telephone. How on any level could it have been worth it for them?

It’s a good question to ask yourself in monologue, that… what happened along the way to make us who we are today? Reminds me a bit of Stuart: A Life Backwards.

On her life without Tom, Adele goes on to say:

There was still so much more that Tom wanted to achieve and to experience. I grieve for his loss of life and for my loss of him. Tom was my best friend, my soulmate, I adored him – I always will.

I miss him more than I could ever describe: his beautiful heart, his brilliant mind, his big loving eyes, his gentle voice, his gleeful laugh and quirky sense of humour, his dancing, our chats and the great fun that we used to have together.

I miss us.

I miss us.

I feel as if they have ripped out my heart:
Adele Eastman’s statement, the Guardian

I found a Mitch Albom book at home when I was last back. “Five People You Meet in Heaven” I think it was.

I told him about it.
“I have his other book, ” he replied.
“Tuesdays with Morrie?” It was more of a rhetorical question, perhaps the emphasis in the question mark being more in the fact that he had that book rather than its identity. I failed to confess I had the same book. He was not, as you may have gathered, ‘into’ that genre, and ashamedly I confess, I was out to impress.

“Oh, I bought it way before Oprah found it,” he said, by way of perhaps re-administering his coolness factor.
“Any particular reason?” I ventured.
“I think I was looking to inspire myself at that point. You’re hopeful. You dream a bit more.”

“Haha.. Mitch Albom eh. That’s quite a genre jump to all this random slit wrist morbidity you have lining your shelves.”
“Ah well.. you know. I was young… young-er. You know, finding myself and all that jazz.”
“What happened?”
“You just realise that there was nothing worth finding in the first place.”

Clacton, Nov 19 2006

******

It wasn’t long after I moved when I figured out that on game days, if I turn down the volume on the tv, I can here the crowds chanting at Layer Road. I turned off the television proper tonight.. and the lights are well dimmed. Near silence and distant roars make a weird cocktail of an antidote to the blues tonight. Colchester United are playing Hull City at the moment; at half time it was 1-1, last I checked we are creaming them 4-1. Irony of ironies, this match.. because Hull City are managed by former U’s boss Phil Parkinson, who defected to Hull just after Colchester were promoted, citing that Hull had better prospects in the Championship. Guess who’s fighting relegation.

I’ve always wanted to be within roaring distance of a football stadium.. I envied Paul Ashworth and his Highbury flat in Fever Pitch. Even if he was a Gooner.. but the dream was to be near Old Trafford, you know? Still, Layer Road pun Layer Road lah. Livin’ the dream.. heheh.

Oooh.. loud cheer. Could that be number 5? Yes it was. Chris Iwelumo, people, is going home with the match ball tonight.

*****
I was looking for a video of Natalie Merchant’s Break Your Heart on YouTube tonight, to no avail. The song has been reverberating through my head today; a throwback to confessions, publications of a particular piece, an email and the way forward. But I did find another gem of an ensemble piece thrown together: Ms Merchant, Michael Stipe and Peter Gabriel singing Red Rain.

According to Songfacts.com, the song was inspired by a recurring dream where (Peter) Gabriel was swimming in a sea of red water. Gabriel: “If feelings of pain do not get brought out, not only do they fester and grow stronger but they manifest themselves in the external world.” At one point, Gabriel wanted this song to tell the story of Mozo, a mercurial stranger who would come and go, changing people’s lives. Other songs that told the Mozo story are “On The Air,” “Down The Dolce Vita,” “Exposure”, “Here Comes The Flood,” and “That Voice Again.” Gabriel envisioned a movie or play based on the Mozo character, but it never happened.

Whateverlah, Peter. I just love the song.

***
And finally, I found myself agreeing with this guy. On any other day I’d probably dissect the article, but time is no luxury these days. Content wise, though, ironic that I agree, beings as that I am a blogger. But not as ironic, one suspects, as wearing a Superman t-shirt to the gym and struggling to bench press 10kg, convincingly.