October, 2006

I turned down the opportunity to hang in London for Eid, because there were sheep needing looking after up in Lancaster. But that weekend, most of the crew I hung out with were, ironically, in London; so it was a more pacified, adult Idlan (yes, that is possible) doing the rounds. Last weekend though, everyone was back, and I travelled up again because there was a Malaysian Society bash on the Sunday, and Razman’s open house on the Friday night. (No I am not motivated by free food, despite what my ex-SBP credentials imply).

So we did the things we used to do, for old times’ sake. Watched a movie, ate fast food, talked politics. Except that the Regal cinema has now been closed, making way for a more corporate-y, generic Vue. Had a swell time at the Raya bash on the Sunday, as was expected. I loved the fact that we at Lancaster operate more as a Malaysian Society than a group that identify themselves as Malaysian but are predominantly of one ethnic group. The games were a riot, as usual, even though the kids seemed to expect a colouring contest and the Malaysian Soc staple, musical chairs.

Sunday night was perhaps spent in the way in which every penny and hour spent travelling across the country was well worth it. Dinner with friends old and new, followed by the best board game in the world bar none until half three in the morning. Serenaded by Bayah’s collection of rock kapak yang tegar, I knew I missed being 19 again. Pity Monday came and the adult world beckoned.

Syitah tukang main gitar sambil nyanyi lagu rock kapak.. Di mataaaaamu… Mencerminnnnnkan rinduuuu

I had a train to catch at 6.30, which meant a 5am start. I sat down and fell asleep instantly in the train, even before it began moving, and only woke up when the train was stationary in Euston. Good thing it didn’t start moving back up to Lancaster.. or we’d probably be playing Risk into the early hours again…

*****
On another note: Eid 2006 First Day second part of pix up on flickr. Weekend’s pix.. some time this century.

Sometimes you want something so bad, you don’t know what to do. Except pray that you don’t get what you want, because if you do, you sort of already know that you won’t be able to deal with it.

Deep inside every human being, I think, lies a desire to be invincible. Be it matters of the flesh, or matters of the heart; we aspire to wade through pain as if we were wading through a paddling pool: we know the water is there, but the action is almost effortless. And yet, because pain is inevitable, we pacify ourselves: we say pain is good; pain is what makes life worth living; pain teaches us so many things we would never otherwise experience.

We dream of invincibility so we create characters that manifest this dream of ours: superheroes. Spiderman, Superman, X-Men.. all stemming from a desire to have powers that are greater than the average person. And yet, because we cannot come to terms with our own misgivings, even in these characters, we make them vulnerable – Spiderman and Superman painfully realise they cannot afford to fall in love, the X-Men often the subject of social stigma.

We make these heroes with impenetrable physical armours; but we pierce them with emotion. An attempt to make these characters more closer to our hearts, or a subliminal allusion to the fact that we cannot deal with the fact that we are not invincible?