January, 2006

A friend once shared with me her worries about life post-university, and how things were going to be. I told her it was going to be okay, and that there was nothing to worry about. How could I tell her that, when even for me, things are not all A-okay, and dear God, there are a million things to worry about? I told her that because I figured that was what she wanted to hear. That was what allayed her fears. Allayed, because when the day comes, things will not be okay, but God willing, she’ll be ready to face it.

That’s what all of us do, isn’t it? We say things to delay the impact. But the impact is there, waiting around one of those corners ahead, ready to slam right into you.

I always get pensive during the last days of my stay in Malaysia. Mostly, I am torn between wanting to stay at home at muck around with my siblings; or run around KL meeting up with friends and enemies alike for one last time, this time round. Usually, I end up thinking too much about these too options while queueing up or waiting for my turn at either the TM shop, TNB payment counter, Pos Malaysia Berhad, Maybank, Public Bank or Jabatan Bekalan Air (take your pick). My dad has an art of not making me pay all these bills on the same day. He spreads them out evenly, so that my last days are well filled.

*****

Kronikel Pingu Tak Bersalah

Hmm.. la la la.. main dengan bear.. dan air milo.. la la la..

Eh eh ada Pingu. Photo Op Photo Op..

Duduk atas diaaaaa

*****
Kisah Pencarian Yang Tak Sudah

I went to Kompleks Wilayah to see if I could grab a copy or two of the much-sought-after Keluarga Gerilya. The cashier told me, they hadn’t had a copy in ages. I bought another Pram book instead.

I also saw this.

I decided to pay a quick homage to ye olde alma mater when I suddenly found myself in JB last weekend. The institution turns 50 this year, and I’m chipping in where I can. Things have changed, and yet not at all. Esty was musing about how.. when SBPs were all developed to create ‘future leaders’; but not too many of our alumni ended up as prominent politicians.

Maybe it’s all in the name. Our school was named after a warrior, a rebel against the cause, someone who pushed the boundaries of the norms of her time. Maybe that’s why not many of us are politicians. We’re trained to go against the system, haha.

Besides. Whoever said politicians were ‘leaders’ anyway?

*****

In my head.. in my head, this was to be a holiday. I was going to steal a weekend all for myself, maybe ask a friend or two along, and jet off to an island somewhere. Pangkor, Redang, Tioman.. didn’t really matter.

The reality of it is, though, that what a holiday is, for me, is a change of hats. I take off the carefree, student helmet, and I put on the responsible, firstborn driver cap. There are too many things happening around me that I can’t ignore. I know everyone copes when I am not around, but what kind of a person am I to not provide them scant relief when I am?

If I wanted a real holiday, I should stop making trips to Malaysia. I should wander around Europe instead. But somehow, on some level, that feels like a right waste of £500.

My apologies to friends whom I have yet to see. I am not avoiding you. You have a few days left. Call me. Please. I will make it worth your while, haha.