December, 2005

A couple of years ago, I sat down to dinner with a few friends in one of those university kitchens that make Kancils look spacious. Some were older than me; others were a bit younger – it figures that such a motley crew as ours would be a mix of the old and the new. And so dinner was served; in usual student style – we spared the niceties and just served everything in pots; some still on the stove. Pick-and-mix was the way to go.

Ravenous, we all grabbed a plate, scooped up rice and dishes, and tucked in. All except one. He waited patiently, twiddling his thumbs until one of the girls realised; scooped his rice for him and offered to spoon whatever side dishes he wanted. I rolled my eyes, in mock disgust. He retorted with a random statement about being ‘feminist’ – the tone, undeniably, intending to hurt.

Which brings me to tonight, as I write this, pondering on the issue of since when was the word ‘feminist’ a bad word, meant to insult? Was it born that way, with its character defects; or did years of use and abuse, by those on both sides of the gender divide line, leave it in the condition it is today?

So, who exactly is a feminist? According to Wikipedia – recently winning the acclaim that it is as good as the Britannica; although perhaps not yet good enough to be used as an authoritative essay in 1st year essays or PhDs alike – feminists are activists who champion causes of feminism, which include, and this is verbatim:

reproductive rights (including but not limited to the right to choose an abortion, the elimination of legal restrictions on abortion, and access to contraception), violence within a domestic partnership, maternity leave, equal pay, sexual harassment, street harassment, discrimination, and sexual violence.

Feminism, on the other hand, refers to the “diverse collection of social theories, political movements, and moral philosophies, largely motivated by or concerning the experiences of women, especially in terms of their social, political, and economic situation.”.

One oft-recurring theme among activists of feminism is the issue of equal rights – or more specifically, gender equality : what men can do, women can do too ; and within that the argument that if A does a better job than B, A should be rewarded justly regardless of gender. I myself do not subscribe to the ‘tit-for-tat’ equality rule – there are just some things women can do that men can’t and vice versa; and as a fact of nature this just has to be accepted as we accept East is that way and West is this.

However, women are still denied of some of rights as human beings – be it the rights as spelt out by humans themselves, or rights decreed by the Divine, should one subscribe to rules and tenets of religion as I do. Sure, I don’t agree that women should lead a Muslim mixed-congregation prayer; but in the same swift way men (and women) condemn this action last year, why is there latent sluggishness to expedite the divorces of women whos husbands’ actions clearly contravene the ground rules they have set themselves at the akad? Both, to my knowledge, are departures from Islamic prescribed practices, and yet .. I ask again, why the difference in treatment and attitudes?

Which brings us to the recently-passed-but-still-majorly-flawed Islamic Family Bill. Women are up in arms, and the men are using the word ‘feminist’ again to denigrate those arguing against it. I dare not comment as of yet because all I have read regarding this bill is what is in the papers – InsyaAllah it is my full intention to study the document and discuss the outstanding issues with my favourite scholar. But what’s also interesting is the lack of blog entries condemning or praising this bill, especially among those whom I believe always take up arms when Islamic issues, especially in Malaysia, arise. I name no names.

Conjecturing that this law denies women what has been divinely decreed to them in a marriage, then I ask, how distasteful is it for those affected to fight for what is justly, their right? In the same vein, why are women being looked at in distaste when they fight for the right to not be sexually harassed, or the right to not be ignored in domestic violence cases? Eve was made to complement Adam, not to be pushed around by him, groped or ogled, or kiss the very ground he walks on, no?

There are two ways we can conclude this. Firstly, if feminism is indeed a bad thing, and association with it is really as bad as people connotate, then there must be a clear separation between whatever ‘feminism’ is, and what fighting for what is one’s rights as a woman are – be it human or God-decreed rights. Secondly – and to me this makes much more sense – if feminism isn’t a negative thing, but deemed negative (i.e. getting bad press), then we soldier on. Knowing that it’s all just men, insecure in the thought that they are no longer going to get away with what they have gotten away with for so long.

Oh – and to my better half (that is, Brad Pitt, in case you failed to notice all this while) – worry not, I will not only scoop rice onto your plate.. I will do lots of other things to. Because you’re worth it. And not because you misguidedly think it is your right, for having been born male.