Gender bashing isn’t what I do in this blog. Not frequently, anyway, and I don’t think I’ve ever dedicated a whole entry to it. But one comment and a separate incident some two weeks after the initial comment sort of made me put 2 and 2 together. (The jury, however, is still out on whether I got 4 or 5 as the answer).
The initial comment, made in half-jest, was on how girls today ‘scared‘ a (male) friend of mine, because they were so ‘tough, independent and “brutal“‘ as he puts it. I laughed and replied that maybe it’s because they couldn’t rely on the men anymore.
About a fortnight later, I happened to go out with a male friend, who was to meet me at the railway station of a not-to-be-named city at a little past 11am. He showed up at 1.15pm with a random nonchalant excuse. (For the record, the only reason why I was still there was because I was so engrossed in a John Grisham novel while drinking a Cafe Mocha at the station’s Starbucks). We then proceeded to another location by bus – a bus that happened to be packed. He then spots an empty seat on the bus; and in true gallant manner parked his male behind on it – and I, of course, stood all the way.
His actions underlined an issue most Malaysian women tend to gripe about – the lack of gallantry among the men of our nation. I’m not surprised at my first friend’s lament – I suppose if men just bulldoze their way with no respect for women, then according to the rules of survival instinct, women either end up as doormats or become tougher.
All this, of course, has created even more questions in my head. If women want to be treated as equals, should they no longer lament the lack of gallantry among men? Or does it just boil down to common courtesy? But is common courtesy shaped by patriarchal norms anyway? I don’t know.